[Extra! Extra! Read All About It]

 I got new boots today.

 These aren't just any boots. They're tall boots, to the knee boots.They're western boots. Boots with buckles, and leather lookin' pull straps. Boots with dark spots on the toes. With wood imitation soles. Boots that smell like leather, feel like leather, look like leather. Boots that walked right out of a John Wayne movie, complete with ride-em-up-cowboys and shoot-em-up villains, the ranch owner's daughter, plunging horses, and of course, COWS. These boots are classy. They out-class any other boots I've seen.

 Basically, they're the best boots in the world.

Becoming the owner of these unbelievable boots (for the obnoxiously sweet price of $20), I couldn't wait until I got a chance to wear them. I had to show them off right now! To the world! (The world being every person who had the misfortune to talk to me.)

 I needed picture of them, of course. My normal procedure is to set any inanimate subject up on my picture stool for a classy portrait. But these boots are so tall that they can't stand up on their own. They needed a model. I gladly tried them on again, and whipped out my ipod to take the picture. But it was too dark in front of the mirror. 

 Not a problem, I can just use the mirror in my room, right?  Right. I'd wanted to move it onto the floor anyway. So I wrestle it off the dresser, take it out of the closet, and...I'm about to set it on the floor when I hear a sliding, then a crashing as the mirror slid out of place in the frame and hit the floor. This doesn't sound good. I hadn't heard a breaking sound however, and it hadn't fallen far, so all was good after all. :grins to myself: :sets mirror down and takes a look:

What. What? I didn't even hear it break.

 I guess that didn't matter. The mirror was broken alright. :swallows hard:

 But... I had WANTED to break it. Yeah, that was it. I did it on purpose! Because... that picture I was going to take.. it needed an authentic and rustic touch. Something that a normal mirror shot couldn't attain. This was perfect, and quite purposefully done, I assure you. 

 And so, here they are, products of my hard work, imagination, modeling, and photography skills.

tHe BoOt PoRtRaItS

:waits for you to pick your jaw up off the floor:

I know, I know. They're incredible. Mind blowing. Outstanding. 

Now at Target for the incredible price of $40!

--

note: the boots neither feel like leather or smell like leather. They smell like Target.

 But.. target smells like leather.